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I have been married to my wife for 22 years. We have had our ups and downs over the years, and have five children and now one grandchild.
I have suspected for years that she has been having an online affair, and last September I received a link to a video of a woman having sex with a guy. I could only see the woman from the back, but I swear it is my wife — the woman was very pregnant, her hair was highlighted and the same length as my wife’s, and her back, legs and buttocks all match. It breaks my heart to think that she cheated on me, especially while she was pregnant with our son. I really don’t want to believe it. I have had many opportunities to cheat, but would never even entertain the thought. She swears it is not her, and even swears on our children’s salvation. Do women really look that much alike from behind?
Dear Mr Dover,
Whoa. Just hold it right there, my friend. You are NEVER supposed to tell a woman you can tell she’s pregnant from behind. That’s grounds for cheating in and of itself!
Okay. Not really.
Was the video sent to you anonymously? Or, did it come from “Mike Hunt” or “Amanda Putthatthere?” Listen, unless it would seem totally normal to you to receive a link to a video of two complete strangers having sex (I don’t know what kind of friends you have. No judgment.), it seems clear to me that the woman in that video is your wife. I am so sorry. Women do not all look that much alike from behind, and after 22 years of marriage, 5 kids, and one grandchild, I would expect you to know every freckle, dimple, and scar on your wife’s body.
A 22 year marriage is not something to just throw away lightly, though. And, after watching a marathon of a show called “Unfaithful” on Oprah’s OWN network (What? I had insomnia. I don’t judge you, you don’t judge me), many couples have gone through something like this and come through it stronger and more devoted to each other than ever. But not without help. If you do want to save your marriage, you need some couples counseling pronto.
Your wife may continue to deny, deny, deny, but regardless of that, there is a rift in your relationship. Don’t play the blame game it has no merit and doesn’t serve either one of you. Get help. Communicate. Get on with life. It’s worth it.
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