Archive for September, 2014

The age differenceWhether they be illicit trysts, flings between unattached individuals, or what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas lusty weekends, when it comes to sharing these secrets everyone has a different reaction.  And fair enough. There is enough controversy around this subject to stir up a hornets nest. But why do we care what other people do?  Does it matter?

The same question arises when the issue of an age difference between two consenting adults crops up. Why is it okay for a sixty year old man to date or marry (or otherwise) a twenty something woman? With same gender couples, age does not seem to be an issue. But heads sure turn if you see an older woman with a younger man.

For instance, I have two friends in two situations. One told me that recently a young man had become very interested in her and would not let up. He was serious and not just yanking her chain. She asked me what I thought because it really is a dilemma for her. She is well aware of the reaction she would attract if she proceeds. I said why not? Life is too short.

As women, if changes (for women) are going to happen it is up to us to make them happen.

My other friend of the same age has been in a relationship with a younger man for several months. Her attitude is like mine but she adds that she has to not care or not get too attached, just enjoy moment to moment with no expectations. Shouldn’t we do that anyway?

There really are some younger men who are attracted to older women for a number of reasons and they should both enjoy it.

What do you think?  Do share your thoughts with me in the comments below.

madi-diaz-phantomThe weekend was partly cloudy, partly rainy, but this kind of weather really helps me with my writing.  I’m well into writing my newest book, the last in the Cloud of Hawthorne series.  To date I’ve written 16,348 words, which is about 58 pages.  So far there is more than one spicy scene between characters and several fantasies described.  One serious suitor has visited, many old and new lovers have been entertained, and one near death accident has occurred.  A new character recently appeared on the scene.  He’s young and of course wickedly handsome and he has already taken a shine to our exotic heroine.  Not surprising.

Have I stirred up some interest?

This book is a lot of fun to write, not that the others weren’t.  But the characters are developing easily and organically.  Each one slips into their unique and specific personality without a lot of thought.  Their voices are clear and I love the way they come alive on the page and how I’m getting lost in the process.

For a smooth writing process it is important for me to have a good background music.  Now I am listening to Madi Diaz‘s new album Phantom.  I am a big fan of her, since I saw her at the first Baja Film Festival in Los Cabos.  Don’t you just love her?

Let me know in the comments below what is on your playlist right now!

Lovely Monday,

writing routine

There’s no other way to kick off our new Friday Author Secrets column than with our very own Madison Lake.  Hit it Madison!

Question: What is your writing routine?

RL:  We understand most writers have a daily routine that can almost become ritual.  Can you tell us a little bit about your daily writing routine?

ML:  Yes, that is so true.  My routine has changed since I got my dog, but it’s generally the same.  I wake up, feed and walk her.  That’s now first.  Wow, amazing how she’s become #1.  (laughs).  What’s good about that though is having a good, long walk before settling down to write for the day.  It’s wonderful.  Anyway, when I do hit my computer, which is where I write my novels, I do a quick check of Facebook, Twitter and emails.

RL:  Ah, so you are one of those internet junkies?

ML:  (laughs) Of course I am!  First of all there might be something important from a publisher or colleague, and secondly, I feel I should get the normal daily stuff over with so my slate is clean to begin writing.

RL:  Good point.  Then what?

ML:  I read a few paragraphs from where I left off, or maybe even the chapter before, so I can pick up on the thread.  At this point the story may change direction from where I left off or it may go the way I had originally envisioned.  I let my fingers do the walking, or maybe it’s my imagination that does the walking and my fingers follow (laughs again).  In any case, I write all day, taking dog walking and internet breaks.

RL:  Do you set daily goals?

ML:  No, because I generally accomplish a lot.  If I don’t it’s because it wasn’t meant to be.  I try to let my writing come organically.  For me that’s the best way.

RL:  Do you write every day?

ML:  Yes, every day.

If you have any questions for Madison about this post, please comment and we will do our best to answer your question.

To read about other authors, their writing routines, where they get their ideas, and other juicy tips, tune in next Friday right here at

Have a great weekend!


The History of Sex – Part 128 – The art of saying hello.

Posted on: September 25th, 2014 by Madison Lake No Comments

Have the rules changed?

There seems to be more closeness in our greetings nowadays:  Men and women often hug each other, air kiss or plant pecks on cheeks.

A boring old handshake leaves you feeling cold and distant.  Most of the time, we get by with a verbal salute or just a head-nod.  With close friends there might be a hug, but I just have to ask – are you a shaker or a kisser?

Kissing to say hello to an acquaintance is kind of alien to Brits and North Americans, but in places like Argentina, its quite normal for people to embrace and give a peck on the cheek or even a kiss, especially women.  Men hug and kiss their friends too (it goes both ways). In Brazil, women will kiss – and also kiss men but men shy away from kissing each other. In Asia, touching is not really the idea at all – its formality all the way – even a shoulder touch can rub someone the wrong way. In India, where people don’t really kiss in public at all, there is a whole hierarchy of customs.

In fact, kiss-greetings were quite a popular idea that sprang from  France in the Medieval period – and along with the chivalry of the knights of the 13th and 14th centuries, came a lot of homosocial affection. The chivalric code dominated upper class lives and eventually spread out to the masses. At that same time, the Catholic church started worrying about all this kissing. So the higher ups decided that something was to be done. Their main aim was to create some kind of division between friendship and sex.

Back in England, while this madness was developing, the King Richard II was busy getting it on with a male lover.  And along came Sir Gawain. ‘Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’ by the mysterious ‘Pearl Poet’ was a direct response to this news of the day. As Carolyn Dinshaw – an NYU Professor of Medieval Studies and Queer Theory notes, Gawain kisses both Lady Bertilak and Lord Bertilak quite often. But any time homosexuality is brought up, it is only mentioned to cement heterosexuality as the norm. Basically, when he kisses Lady B is could lead to sex (even though he usually rejects her come-ons), but for Lord B, it is “unintelligible” or impossible for the reader to imagine. “The Pearl Poet”, who remains unknown to this day, created a narrator who fell in love with Gawain himself, and this challenged the homosocial rules of King Arthur’s Court.

Over time, all of these affectionate greetings have mostly eroded away.  In their place has grown a much more classified and coded sexuality than those Medieval storytellers could have possibly imagined.  But is chivalry really as dead as they say?

Let’s do our best to keep it alive – so If you are feeling chivalrous – give someone a big hug and a kiss today!



Titillating Tuesday

Posted on: September 23rd, 2014 by Madison Lake No Comments









I’ve written 9,954 words in the new book so far. There is one erotic scene between two characters but several fantasies by other characters about men or women or each other. There has been one serious suitor, many old lovers and one near death tragedy. A new character has just appeared on the scene. He’s young and of course wickedly handsome and he has already taken a shine to our exotic heroine. Not surprising. Have I stirred up some interest?

It’s a partly cloudy, partly rainy day today. Perfect for me to continue writing without the call of the sunshine and distractions that come with it. I will miss the warm, cloudless days now that autumn is here, but I must admit these approaching months are excellent for writing and at the rate I’m going I may just start book six. Something brand new of course.