Archive for August, 2015


Happy last Monday of this August!

How was your summer so far? I hope it’s hot and steamy and that you still have some plans to visit the coast in the upcoming month(s)!

Nothing much new is happening with me. Same ol’, same ol’, writing and writing, and dealing with online dating (of well). Today I wanted to share with you a song by Jason Derulo.  It’s supposedly one of the sexiest videos of the year by Capital FM, here’s what they say:

“He’s the man with abs of steel and charisma that just won’t quit, so it’s no surprise that Derulo’s made the list.  Just take a look at the video for appearances from “Topless Jason”, “Suited-and-Booted Jason” and even “Getting It On Jason”.  Someone crack a window!”

See the video below and please, crack a window!
You’re welcome, XO,

The History of Sex – Part 170 – Surf’s Up!

Posted on: August 27th, 2015 by Madison Lake No Comments

As summer draws to an end, we thought we’d pay homage to surfing.  What began as Hawaiian religious ritual has transformed into the sexiest of summer lifestyles.


Before the arrival of Europeans, waves were dating spots where young couples would flirt and show off.  Westerners learned about this sacred foreplay from early wood block prints like the one above.  These caricatured the exotic custom, drawn after the great Captain Cook had been killed trying to kidnap the Chief of this surfing race just a few years earlier.  Most Europeans at the time, including most of Captain Cook’s sailors, could not even swim.  Of course, missionaries would soonfollow with dire warnings about the evil pleasures of surfing.

OB1311So it wasn’t just a hobby for early Polynesians – it was the centre of a deeply religious social system.  In some cases, the surfer with the most skill would be elected to power.  Although I’m not so sure having a pro surfer as President would be that great, if there ever was one – it just might as well have been Duke Kahanamoku – the Hawaiian swimming gold medalist.   You may have seen him in his Google Doodle last week marking the 125 years since his birth.  He was the first male pin up model the world had ever seen and played a major role in the sexing up of the sport.  Since many years of church influence and colonial rule made surfing illegal and banned in many places, Duke’s importance can not be understated.

In the meantime, surfing had gone underground with the Waikiki beachboys (pictured below in the early ’50s).  They were a quasi-organized band of surf instructors and “playboys of the Pacific”, who seduced women visiting Honolulu, and gave “lessons” in the water – just past the lineup – floating out of sight.  In the ’50s & ’60s, surfing was definitely counterculture, and like rockers or bikers, surfers were labelled as sex maniacs and dangerous deviants.


And then came the band – The Beach Boys – who did their part to clean up and cash in on the surf.  And although they never really surfed at all – they spread the global trend.  In 1988, the Wall Street Journal claimed that it was “the sexiest sport in America” which can mean only one thing: there was a lot of money to be made.  In the decades since, millions of peole have started to surf.  Although the waves are free, the equipment has to show off our sexiest parts.  By 2017 – the global surfing industry with be worth 13 billion dollars.

Pro surfers today are a return to the days when men and women just went out there to dazzle each other, but with one modern twist – they also have to dazzle the camera.   Is there a sexier sport out there?



I know many of you are anxious to hear how my online dating is going. What’s happening? you ask. We’re dying to know.

Well, I’ve been on all but one date because he was the only one to show any interest to proceed to that point. He was a super nice guy. We had three dates: A coffee date, a movie date, and a glass of wine/beer date. All involved interesting conversation, easy and comfortable interaction, laughter.

What, say you, was the problem?

There was no, I really want to see this guy again, no schwing.

He would have made a terrific man to pal around with (movies, coffee, wine, conversation) but of course he wanted more. When you’re on ‘dating sites’ you’re usually looking for more – in one way or another. He was very clear on what he wanted – a woman to have a solid relationship with. Good for him. I’m not as clear. I guess I want a relationship, with the right man, but in a more non-traditional way. But what defines that? I don’t think I’m as clear as he seems to be. Shit, I still have a way to go.

Scratch date #1. (I may regret it)

I’ve had many lookie-loos who do just that – look. (note: number of profile views) No comments, no replies to my queries, they just seem to comb the territory to see what’s available.

I had one guy IM me the minute I went online one evening. He was handsome with white hair and a tanned body – handsome grandpa. He said he was going offline soon and asked if he could have my phone number so he could follow up and call me once he was off the site. When I asked him why he was going off Match he said that they were kicking him off – he didn’t know why. (Hmmm) I told him I don’t give out my phone number and he was immediately gone.

It seems not uncommon for women to get lots of attention when they’re new (like me) from the old stragglers who have been Matching it for some time. A lot of seventy plus men – agism I know but I’m just not there yet. Anyone I contact or show interest in does not return the compliment.

So there you have it. Online dating in a nutshell.

I’m sure it gets better. Perseverance I remind myself. Don’t quit now. At least see the three paid months through. Besides, it’s summer. Not the ideal time to online date. I should be out and about – at bars, in restaurants, at social events. Uh huh. I should be. And I am, usually with a gaggle of women which never bodes well when trying to meet a man.

Onward. It’s another sunny summer day.




Hello and happy Monday!

Today I’m enjoying a hot cup of cinnamon latte and getting ready for my daily dose of writing.  Did you know that writing every day helps improve your writing skills?  I read that somewhere a while ago and have been sticking to this writing tip ever since.  If you are a writer, a blogger, journalist or need to write business reports and other things for work, I recommend writing every day, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.  Regular writing routine makes writing easier for any writing project you ‘need’ or want to do.  Try it for a month and let me know how it went.  I’m certain you’ll notice the difference!

Today on my speakers I’m having Mumford & Sons with Believe.

Wishing you a fabulous week!

The History of Sex – Part 169 – Origin of the World

Posted on: August 20th, 2015 by Madison Lake No Comments


courbet voyeur

During the 19th century, the way we view the nude body underwent a revolution in art thanks to 2 major artists: Manet and Courbet.  Until then, nudity in paintings was extremely censored and idealized by religion and myth.  With Manet’s Olympia, Parisians and art lovers from around the world got their first public glimpse of plain-old-nakedness.  This is the work of art that sparked the Impressionist movement.  Courbet’s Origin of the World took the idea one step further into realism. And although standards and taboos about nudity have changed a lot since their time – mostly due to the photography and film era – Courbet’s painting from 1866 has remained one graphic image that still has the power to shock the censors.

In 2011, Matthew Weinstein – a painter, sculptor and artist –  had his Facebook account suspended after simply posting the image, which is one of the biggest draws to the Musée d’Orsay in Paris, and where it’s postcard outsells all others at the gift shop.

In an effort to prevent anyone from being offended by anything, Facebook is always on the hunt for pornographic imagery, by using guidelines like this one: nipples on a female breast are not allowed unless they are “actively engaged in breastfeeding”.  They have suspended the profiles and removed some pretty important social messages from the global conversation.  One crazy example is when they removed photos of breast cancer survivors who were part of a Cancer Awareness Body Painting Project.  Does anyone really think of these as pornographic?  They had once also removed an image of two men kissing – a still image from the BBC show, EastEnders – while inappropriately leaving millions of photos of men and women making out all over the place.  Facebook has around 1.5 billion users a month.  All of the micro-complaints they get are sent to moderators, who decide whether or not to delete the account or the material alone.  These moderators have been given a strange amount of influence.  Although several of these examples have been described as “mistakes” by the company, and decisions reversed, they raise the question as to why such censorship exists by a private company away from government policies in so many different countries.

In fact, Facebook moderators seems to have it out for French art and poor Gustave Courbet.  His provocative painting has also been locked in a four year battle with a French school teacher.  In 2011, Facebook deactivated Frédéric Durand-Baïssas’ account after receiving a complaint about a link he shared, which redirected to a documentary on the famous painting.  Now he is demanding €20,000 in damages, and to have his Facebook profile back.  The teacher told Europe 1, the radio station, that he was “fighting to defend Courbet, condemned by the Americans”.  He claims to be a victim of “prejudice”, and had been treated “like a pornographer”.

It is clear that many are just as shocked to see a naked body today as those were 150 years ago.  And if we keep censoring these images every time one person complains, we might just need another Manet or Courbet to come along and snap us out of it.