Archive for February, 2017

Music Monday – I guess it’s back!

Posted on: February 27th, 2017 by Madison Lake 1 Comment

It seems Music Monday is back by popular demand. Not that it has anything to do with romance or erotica necessarily, but who doesn’t like to start the week with music? At least we’ll try to keep it going for y’all.

This one thanks to Romana Lilac. Saw it on your Facebook post and stole it 😉

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, “many, several”, and Latin amor, “love”) is where men and women may have more than one partner with adult consent of all partners involved. It could be described as “consensual and responsible non-monogamy”.

Let’s discuss this.

Human sexual relations has always been a curious and, at times, ‘hot’ topic of discussion, often with varying degrees of moral judgement attached. There are those who believe we can only love one person and/or that two people ‘in love’ should be committed for life. Then there are those who cannot understand how that is possible, and kiss many frogs before settling, but they still settle for one.

For those polyamorous players, one lover is not enough. However, the term swinger or player, which is often used to describe someone who lives a polyamorous lifestyle, is actually looked upon as quite different in the two communities. Polyamory tends to be more emotionally driven, whereas swinging tends to be purely for sexual pleasure.   

Some would define polyamory as a relationship practice, while others think it an orientation or identity, like sexual identity. With polyamory, there are two types of relationships: an open relationship, where the partners involved are free to seek sexual or romantic encounters outside of their defined group, and a closed polyamorous relationship, where they keep their relationships within the chosen group of lovers.

There is documented proof of a Christian religious community in America during the 1800’s where they believed in free love. Any member of the commune was free to have (consensual) sex with another. Exclusivity and possessiveness were unacceptable. The Oneida Community, as they were called, believed it was the responsibility of the commune to raise the offspring from these relations communally. To take things a step further, women past childbearing age would act as mentors to adolescent boys and older men often introduced young females to sex. The elders became religious role models for the younger generation. When you think of ‘free love’ in the ’60’s, perhaps the Oneida were ahead of their time, but polyamory and other forms of non-exclusive relationships, has been going on since the dawn of man.  

Many polyamorists believe fidelity as being faithful to the agreements made in their relationship rather than sexual exclusivity. As mentioned previously, the practice of polyamory includes open relations or multi-partner ones, which can differ in levels of closeness and commitment. Polyamorists generally base commitment on things other than sexual exclusivity. Trust and honesty or growing old together are ideas that set polyamory apart from other forms of open relations.

What are your thoughts? Please comment on this blog and let’s get a conversation going.

ML

I had an interesting experience at work the other day. I know, another work story, but you might find this one interesting.

I was helping a woman with a bra fitting – making sure it fit, to put it plainly. She was an older woman, older than me, clearly monied because she was wearing expensive eyewear, jewelry and had a Gucci handbag. She carried that air of old money.

I was standing in the change-room doorway chatting and accessing the bra she had on, one that I felt was a little ‘large in the cup’ but she loved it, and it did fit. I said ‘that particular make of bra doesn’t work on me but it looks great on you’ and she laughed and said ‘different surgeons’.  

It took me a moment to get it. Oh, right. Implants. She assumed. She figured all women had had surgery to ‘improve’ their breasts. It was then I started to examine her face, neck, even her stomach. Sure. She’d had it all, I realized. But in her case, it looked pretty good. She still looked her age, and she was still attractive. Her skin was wrinkled but tighter, no hanging rooster neck or unnecessary belly fat.

I do not support nor condone men or women who choose to have work done. It is not my place to judge. I do, however, worry.

I have heard young, flawless beauties in their twenties, rub their foreheads and talk about getting botox because of a barely visible beginning of a (line?). We have all seen those who have lost sight of the significant amount of work they have done to their faces and bodies, who are outright scary looking.

I remember going through a phase, probably during the time when my body was shifting from young into not so young, when I resented the women who could afford to get work done. Not because I was jealous. I didn’t want any part of it. But it upped the ante for the rest of us. Suddenly there were all these women with larger, firmer breasts, taut necks, flatter stomachs. How could we ‘regulars’ compete? And being single made things worse because men generally go for younger, and either don’t know the difference when a woman has had work done, or don’t care.

But I got over it.

There are many ways in which my body has changed since I was twenty and thirty, and it has taken some time to come to terms with these changes. Perhaps I’m fortunate enough to have naturally good skin. I stay active, keep my muscles toned and keep myself relatively fit.

Or perhaps I’m fortunate enough to finally be happy with my body and myself just the way I am.

ML

Music Monday

Posted on: February 20th, 2017 by Madison Lake No Comments

Happy Monday everyone. Enjoy this tune cuz, I want your love…

 

Music Monday

Posted on: February 13th, 2017 by Madison Lake No Comments

Back by popular demand – Music Monday! We’ll see how long this lasts but when the spirit moves, well then…brighten my northern skies.