Dating = Done
After several friends of mine cajoled me into ‘giving online dating another try’, I succumbed and joined a site called Elite Singles. The name seemed to put out a certain level of class or selectiveness, but who was I kidding?
Of course you sign up for FREE but then you have to pay in order to see anyone’s photo or the details of their profile. Sheesh. What a joke. So, I figured I may as well sign up for three months if I was going to give this the good old college try. Interestingly, very few men posted photos, so that was a waste of money right there (sorry, I do need to see who I am considering dating). The men who did post photos, well…sadly there were slim pickings, or should I say not my idea of ‘elite’.
After several weeks of getting no interest whatsoever, even after I contacted or showed interest in many men, I did begin to communicate with one gentleman several years older than me, who seemed interesting, worldly, smart and was attractive and sporty. Finally we decided to meet for coffee.
I had to work at noon that day so we met near my workplace downtown with plenty of time to chat and enjoy an Americano. It turned out this guy was recently divorced after 32 years of marriage, was dressed smartly enough in jeans and a jean jacket but admitted he was not yet ready to ‘be old’ and was clearly working hard at that. He proceeded to talk about his kids and his ex-wife pretty much the whole time and then threw in a few political opinions that signalled we were coming from quite different places. I politely cut short the meet and greet saying I had some prep work to do before starting my shift. He did walk me to work. That was the end of that.
The other night, a girlfriend of mine and I went to a Scotch whiskey fundraiser for the Writer’s Festival. We had booked our tickets well in advance and were excited to attend something different. It was a splendid affair – lots of tasting tables, delicious food and much to our surprise, a good crowd of mostly men. (of course! men drink whiskey)
After making the rounds, trying a little of just about everything, we bumped into a man who we had seen here and there throughout the evening. He and I seemed to connect and laughed about how we kept seeing each other. We settled at a table and began chatting, which was remarkably easy after drinking Scotch all evening.
Not wanting to be Negative Nancy here but two things happened that completely put me off. First of all, this man was very amiable, had a great sense of humour and asked questions about both myself and my friend – all plusses so far. I was thinking to myself, hey this could be something. I casually mentioned I was feeling like having another wee dram and he agreed. Soon after he disappeared and returned with not two but one wee dram which he happily sipped himself, completely oblivious to the rest of us at the table. I went and got my own.
By the way, this move has nothing to do with him being a man expected to get a woman a drink, and has everything to do with manners and listening. It was weird.
Soon, my friend said she was ready to go. I didn’t blame her because by that time, the guy was talking more to me and I’m sure she was getting bored. I said I’d join her and we said our goodbyes. As we headed toward the door she asked if I got his number and I said no. “Well, what are you waiting for?” she cried. “Go back and get it.” So I did. I approached him, said I didn’t have any business cards on me but I wanted to leave him my number. He nodded. Then there was silence. I said I didn’t have a pen. More silence. He apparently didn’t either, nor was there a move to get one. I suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable and left. That was that.
Isn’t there a book and a film called He’s Just Not That Into You?
In any case, my trying to date days are really over this time (she says again). If it ‘happens’ then I’m open, but no more profiles or photo sharing or blind coffee dates, although I might be convinced to have a wee dram once in a while.
Any story, whether it be book or film, needs a good love scene. From the shocking, first ever film kiss in, The Kiss (1896!) to Basic Instinct and Fifty Shades of Grey, storylines need romance or (soft) sex.
But what used to be considered X-rated now seem the norm. Full frontals and realistic love making are nothing new in movies today, which leaves little to the imagination. At least with a book you can visualize what he or she might look like (naked) or what they might be doing (having sex?). I wonder what’s left to give-up in cinema?
What makes a good love scene? That depends on what you are looking for. Obviously some people want the tell-all kind of story and others want the Jane Austin lead up to sex, which are truly ‘love scenes’. It’s knowing what is going to happen through the buildup. Very titillating.
Take 9 1/2 Weeks. That blindfolded ice scene could make anybody squirm. And when Vasili and Tania finally fall into each other’s arms on the dirty floor of the underground bunker in, Enemy at the Gates, it was breathtakingly passionate. You’ll find yourself drawn to the questionable but undeniable desire in The Lover or Y Tu Mamá También.
In 1954, Anne Descios (under the pen name, Pauline Réage) shocked the literary scene with, The Story of O, while Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice remains the ultimate, timeless love story. Diana Gabaldon’s, Outlander, is a big contender in the ultimate love story genre, as is The Notebook, by Nickolas Sparks.
Whether you are a fan of the more erotic and explicit, or prefer tender romance and ‘love conquers all’, we each have our favourite books and films, and there are far too many to name.
Share yours with us in the comments section and tell us why you love it. We want to hear from you!
Leather has been a sex symbol throughout time. From whips and tassels to a fitted black leather jacket, leather sizzles.
Tanning hides to make leather is one of the oldest human trades. Animals were in abundance and were killed for meat, fur and their hides. Commonly used for making durable clothing, leather has been used since the beginning of civilization. Leather was, and is, the most viable source for footwear, satchels (and handbags), wallets, etc.
So, where’s the sex part of leather, you ask?
I find a loincloth pretty darn sexy (see History of Sex #237) Then there are leather corsets, leather chaps (oh my!), even leather bras. And what about those leather jackets? From a husky biker with worn jeans and a hot black jacket, to a woman dressed in tight leather leggings with a tailored coat, it’s leather all the way.
Think about old westerns. What were those hot cowboys wearing? Uh huh. Consider the film Gladiator or Cleopatra. Besides sheaths and tunics, leather armour and other necessities were the look of the times. Think about any sex shop that you have (or haven’t) gone into. Leather or pleather dominates (no pun intended). Even a gorgeous chair or sofa is the ultimate in home furnishings and lasts forever. And it is oh so seductive.
I’d say leather is damn sexy.
It seems Music Monday is back by popular demand. Not that it has anything to do with romance or erotica necessarily, but who doesn’t like to start the week with music? At least we’ll try to keep it going for y’all.
This one thanks to Romana Lilac. Saw it on your Facebook post and stole it 😉