Talk to Tippy for outrageously honest advice. Call it the second opinion we all wish we had. Unabashedley candid and insightful – trust Tippy for guidance with dating, relationship or sexual conundrums. Yes, you can Talk to Tippy!
I was a virgin before meeting my boyfriend of two years, but he wasn’t. He had been with one other girl before me, and well, she’s a huge whore. When we started having sex, he was confused as to why he wasn’t lasting as long as he did with his ex. And it’s pretty much like that every time we’ve slept together. He always finishes too early and I never get to :/
So my question is, why the f*ck does this happen? And is there a way to fix it or a least delay it so we can both enjoy it?
Well, that sucks. Or perhaps he should? Ok, I’ll mind my manners- but two years already? How very frustrating for you!
First of all, I don’t think his ex has anything to do with your situation. It’s proven that the amount of intercourse a woman has does not affect the elasticity of her vagina. And secondly, I never believe any stories about ex’s.
That said, a simple Google search would yield him plenty of resources to try and control his orgasms. If he took an SSRI drug like Prozac they are sometimes prescribed for early ejaculation dysfunction but certainly a doctors opinion is the first step.
In the meantime, try to change up the game so you aren’t heading into your lovemaking with the anticipation of failure for one of you. Change positions when things start to heat up, which gives him time to relax. Stop for a blowjob or spend a minute kissing. Try just taking it slower. You know how women often prefer a long lead up? You might reach an orgasm just through lengthy foreplay. I know I have. It sounds like you both are rather new at this so have patience my little kitten. Good things are a “head”. And there I go again…..
I recently reconnected with an old friend with whom I always had pretty intense physical chemistry. You know that unspoken kind that makes you ache on the inside for no reason? Ok, so we began dating and he is as mentally stable and “normal” as the next guy, but clearly has an interesting fetish that is causing me to question everything. We had sex and it was mind blowing, but last week, three weeks into our “intro dating”, he sent me a text saying:
“Wanna know an embarrassing secret? I would really like it if you said I love you to me during sex. I know its stupid it would make my heart explode.”
So I was like, hmmm, what? I let is slide. So then he asked me later if I liked really slow, romantic sex and how his ultimate fantasy is us having sex and just looking straight into each others eyes the whole time.
Its all seems sweet and very loving, but this soon? Is this a normal request? Can someone have a legit fetish for being pretend loved ? Tippy, help me!!
It makes me deeply sad that this would be considered a bizarre sexual request. Let me pour a glass of wine before I continue.
Without knowing more, it sounds like he is really in love with you or has intimacy issues and “fetishizing” the act of romantic love allows him to deal with the prospect of commitment, which he seems to have difficulty with. Perhaps he has not yet had a true romantic commitment? Men at this stage seem to fantasize about what they have yet to experience.
Before you agree to whisper your love in his anxious ear, perhaps you can suggest that you talk about it next time you’re getting intimate. The beauty of this plan is that the conversation you’ve agreed to have will take short term precedence over the lovemaking and even though your brain is saying something, your body is acting in response to what’s happening physically. He needs to bring you RIGHT to the edge of climax so that you’re desperate and whimpering and ready to do or say just about anything to come – and then he should make his demands. Of course, as everyone knows, things said in the heat of passion are always taken with a grain of salt.
As well as that fib, I usually say that it’s not really cheating if you don’t know the other person involved. Or if you’re fooling around in a different state than the one you live in. Or just had your hair done. Or bought a new pair of shoes. I digress. But you see where I’m going with this, right?
Good luck in love,
Got a question for Tippy? Send your questions to: Tippy at Madlakepages@gmail.com