This is a relationship story — something everyone can relate to in some way or another. We’ve all had relationship ups and downs. It’s part of life experience and to a certain degree, imperative in sussing out a good partner.
Nine months ago my friend (let’s call her Anna), broke up with her boyfriend of five years. It was hard. That kind of thing is always hard, and generally one person feels the hardship more than the other. In her words, he had been building up to the split, asking her how she’d feel if he dated someone else, or how she’d feel if they broke up and she saw him with someone else. Hmm…all very mysterious, but telling.
Anyway, I guess that’s exactly what happened.
The split seemed amicable at first. After all, they had been together for five years and were good friends. He just wanted some ‘time’ and Anna was okay with that. They remained friends — until he started bringing home other women.
Anna and (let’s call him, Tim) were neighbours! That’s right. They lived next door to one another. So remaining friends was important to Anna. Tim, on the other hand, didn’t seem to worry about proximity. Within a week Tim was bringing home (to his home) a different woman every night. Anna could see them making out in the driveway or could see women leaving his house in the mornings. Okay sure, he was single and she was snooping, but it didn’t make friendship or breaking up any less challenging.
“Every day gets a little easier,” says Anna, “but I thought he’d have more respect than that. I mean, right in front of my nose. It’s been painful.”
Anna is (significantly) younger than I am, so part of me thinks, ‘that’s life’. It ain’t easy and I hate to say it, this is just the beginning of relationship woes. I know many women (myself included), who have been cheated on, lied to, duped, led on, all during relationships. I’m sure this has also happened to men by women. This does not make one breakup worse, more or less important than another. They are all painful and valuable — lessons to be used wisely. After being hurt, finding someone to trust seems a tough assignment, but it will happen.
So here’s the deal…
Tim is single and is moving on. How he chooses to do that is his business. It sucks big time that he is flaunting his shit in Anna’s face. He might be trying to make her jealous or to hurt her. Who knows. But shit happens.
I say she’s better off without him. I’m sure they had five good years together — or at least most of the five — but clearly he is not ready to settle down nor is he ‘the one’. And Anna is a woman who wants to find love and trust and sincerity, as any person deserves to have.
You have to kiss many toads to find your prince — or not — but you do have to be discerning, be open to experiences, learn, grow, and above all, never give up on love.