Posts Tagged ‘love’

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I guess over the past months I’ve run out of titillating topics. They all go in my books! So if you want titillating, you’ll have to buy them on Amazon ;-). On another note…

This past weekend was Vancouver Pride. The city became a colourful melting pot of ages and genders and ethnicities. Everyone was happy – as themselves and with others. Music filled the blocked off streets of Davie and Burrard where the celebration was centred. Flamboyant transvestites, butch (and non) lesbians, male lovers wearing tight tees and ball hugging jeans were there, and that’s just a glimpse. 

The best part, however, was that love was in the air. Everyone who attended any part of the weekend festivities was there to support.

Hugging whoever happens to be beside you at the moment, breaking into laughter and song, giving nods of approval and dancing in the street; this is what happens when people abandon inhibitions and feed off the goodness that surrounds them.

Sure there was drinking. There were great eats on the street. But all was in good fun. Nobody broke the mood.

Of course it brings to mind why every day can’t be like this. I know we can’t party every day. I for one would be exhausted. But is it so wrong for men to wear rainbow coloured pantsuits and glittery platform shoes every day if they want to? Is it so wrong for lovers to be lovers without judgement and persecution?

Our small Vancouver world was a better place this past weekend. It felt good (as it has in years past) to be part of the beautiful growing community I call home.

Till next week…continue to have joyous summer days.

ML

 

 

 

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, “many, several”, and Latin amor, “love”) is where men and women may have more than one partner with adult consent of all partners involved. It could be described as “consensual and responsible non-monogamy”.

Let’s discuss this.

Human sexual relations has always been a curious and, at times, ‘hot’ topic of discussion, often with varying degrees of moral judgement attached. There are those who believe we can only love one person and/or that two people ‘in love’ should be committed for life. Then there are those who cannot understand how that is possible, and kiss many frogs before settling, but they still settle for one.

For those polyamorous players, one lover is not enough. However, the term swinger or player, which is often used to describe someone who lives a polyamorous lifestyle, is actually looked upon as quite different in the two communities. Polyamory tends to be more emotionally driven, whereas swinging tends to be purely for sexual pleasure.   

Some would define polyamory as a relationship practice, while others think it an orientation or identity, like sexual identity. With polyamory, there are two types of relationships: an open relationship, where the partners involved are free to seek sexual or romantic encounters outside of their defined group, and a closed polyamorous relationship, where they keep their relationships within the chosen group of lovers.

There is documented proof of a Christian religious community in America during the 1800’s where they believed in free love. Any member of the commune was free to have (consensual) sex with another. Exclusivity and possessiveness were unacceptable. The Oneida Community, as they were called, believed it was the responsibility of the commune to raise the offspring from these relations communally. To take things a step further, women past childbearing age would act as mentors to adolescent boys and older men often introduced young females to sex. The elders became religious role models for the younger generation. When you think of ‘free love’ in the ’60’s, perhaps the Oneida were ahead of their time, but polyamory and other forms of non-exclusive relationships, has been going on since the dawn of man.  

Many polyamorists believe fidelity as being faithful to the agreements made in their relationship rather than sexual exclusivity. As mentioned previously, the practice of polyamory includes open relations or multi-partner ones, which can differ in levels of closeness and commitment. Polyamorists generally base commitment on things other than sexual exclusivity. Trust and honesty or growing old together are ideas that set polyamory apart from other forms of open relations.

What are your thoughts? Please comment on this blog and let’s get a conversation going.

ML

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Let’s have a look at our very own favourite books — bodice rippers!

The origin of the bodice ripper is loosely based on the romance novels of the Austin era, but more erotic. Bodice Rippers became popular in the 1980’s when it became more acceptable for women to enjoy their own form of pornography.

Generally, this genre is predictable and formulaic with a handsome, strong and rich man sweeping some poor, long-suffering beauty off her feet. Seduction scenes should happen often enough to keep the pages turning, and all must end happily ever after.

The difference between a romance novel and a bodice ripper is the level of titillation. Romance novels tend to be tamer — more about love and good over evil, where bodice rippers, although with the same agenda, tend to be juicer. Covers of a true bodice ripper will show the male hero with his heroine, the damsel in distress, safely in his muscular arms. She is (of course) breathtakingly beautiful, with ample breasts that are spilling from the figure forming corset with laces coming undone. 

Despite the success of romance novels and bodice rippers, with commercial book sales in the millions, the literary world has yet to accept the work as legitimate. Such criticism has affected how the public reacts to this genre. To this day, readers of books like the bodice ripper, generally hide behind their iPads or magazine covers so as not to publicly reveal their true indulgence.

This is a relationship story — something everyone can relate to in some way or another. We’ve all had relationship ups and downs. It’s part of life experience and to a certain degree, imperative in sussing out a good partner.

Nine months ago my friend (let’s call her Anna), broke up with her boyfriend of five years. It was hard. That kind of thing is always hard, and generally one person feels the hardship more than the other. In her words, he had been building up to the split, asking her how she’d feel if he dated someone else, or how she’d feel if they broke up and she saw him with someone else. Hmm…all very mysterious, but telling.

Anyway, I guess that’s exactly what happened.

The split seemed amicable at first. After all, they had been together for five years and were good friends. He just wanted some ‘time’ and Anna was okay with that. They remained friends —  until he started bringing home other women.

Backtrack… imgres

Anna and (let’s call him, Tim) were neighbours! That’s right. They lived next door to one another. So remaining friends was important to Anna. Tim, on the other hand, didn’t seem to worry about proximity. Within a week Tim was bringing home (to his home) a different woman every night. Anna could see them making out in the driveway or could see women leaving his house in the mornings. Okay sure, he was single and she was snooping, but it didn’t make friendship or breaking up any less challenging.

“Every day gets a little easier,” says Anna, “but I thought he’d have more respect than that. I mean, right in front of my nose. It’s been painful.”

Anna is (significantly) younger than I am, so part of me thinks, ‘that’s life’. It ain’t easy and I hate to say it, this is just the beginning of relationship woes. I know many women (myself included), who have been cheated on, lied to, duped, led on, all during relationships. I’m sure this has also happened to men by women. This does not make one breakup worse, more or less important than another. They are all painful and valuable — lessons to be used wisely. After being hurt, finding someone to trust seems a tough assignment, but it will happen. 

So here’s the deal…

Tim is single and is moving on. How he chooses to do that is his business. It sucks big time that he is flaunting his shit in Anna’s face. He might be trying to make her jealous or to hurt her. Who knows. But shit happens.

I say she’s better off without him. I’m sure they had five good years together — or at least most of the five — but clearly he is not ready to settle down nor is he ‘the one’. And Anna is a woman who wants to find love and trust and sincerity, as any person deserves to have.

You have to kiss many toads to find your prince — or not — but you do have to be discerning, be open to experiences, learn, grow, and above all, never give up on love. 

ML

Madison’s Monday

Posted on: December 12th, 2016 by Madison Lake No Comments

I have a friend from work. We actually trained together.

Although she works in a different department, we often bump into each other in the lunch room or passing through the store. She’s great fun and we enjoy chatting.

Yesterday she came into my department to buy some sexy, silky boudoir attire. Here’s the dirt:

Apparently, she broke up with her long-time boyfriend about a month ago. He dumped her, as she put it, which is never a pleasant position to be in no matter who you are. I knew nothing of this until yesterday, which made me feel badly that I hadn’t been there for her during a time one needs a pal to talk with.

imagesAnyway, she seemed to get through the grieving because after a four week period, an ex-boyfriend contacted her. Yada yada yada (insert reconnection convo here). Ends up, he wants to meet her in Europe, which is where he’ll be when my friend is going to be flying across the pond (and some) to visit her family. So…

next thing she knows she gets an email with a plane ticket attached and an itinerary of their travels through Europe – together.

Bada bada bing!  url

After much mulling it over and more talking, my friend did realize this was not somebody she’d never met before. He wasn’t an online thingy she was taking a chance on. He was actually somebody she had a whole lotta schwing with back in the day. Somebody who had set off fireflies in her belly and ignited sparks in his. Someone who could have been a missed opportunity and was the real McCoy. And she said YES!

Yippee.

I will miss her sparky energy at the store. I’ll miss our lunchtime chats.

My friend is off to Europe in a few weeks carrying with her courage, happiness, love in the pit of her stomach, and loads of sexy lingerie.

Love you, friend, and hope to keep up with your adventures.

We love adventures here so keep ‘em coming!  

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