Posts Tagged ‘love’

Values

Posted on: August 12th, 2014 by Madison Lake No Comments

happy-older-coupleSince we’re on the subject of sex and relationships, let’s test our morale stance.

Two days after last week’s road trip another friend of mine lamented that a good girlfriend of hers, who had been ‘happily married’ for twenty years but hadn’t had sex with her husband in eight years, was now having an affair.  My friend was devastated.  She had known this couple for as long as they’d been together and felt close to both of them.  Now she felt betrayed and very sad.

As I listened to her talk through her feelings about the situation, the obvious became apparent.  How many roaming romances are because of sex – or lack of it?  I’d guess all of them.  Sexual attraction is an undeniable force.  Sometimes that force can sweep in when you least expect it, so does that mean you should follow?  Again, it’s a debated issue.  Some say that the chances of two people staying together forever is next to impossible, and when it happens, it is often because they’ve been through some sort of drama – be it a tryst or temporary separation or something.  Some say that you can love more than one person in a lifetime.  And some feel they can only be in a committed relationship, and have zero tolerance for messing around.

Sex is a hot issue. What’s your stance?

Photo source here.

Talk to Tippy

Posted on: July 9th, 2014 by Madison Lake No Comments

Talk to Tippy for outrageously honest advice. Call it the second opinion we all wish we had. Unabashed and candid and insightful – trust Tippy for guidance with dating, relationship or sexual conundrums. Yes, you can Talk to Tippy!

Tippy - legs

 

Dear Tippy,

My husband and I are swingers. Recently we went to our neighbors house party and were surprised when at the end of the evening everybody picked house keys from a basket by the front door (just like back in the sixties!) and went home with a new partner. Interestingly it was our neighbors and hosts who we switched with. It was fun, I admit, but for me that was that, it ended there. However, my husband is still seeing my neighbor Beth (different name) and has recently told me he is falling in love with her! I’m not sure what to do. I never expected this. We’ve been married for thirteen years and have always ‘played’ but this has made me realize I love him too much to lose him.

Swung Too Far

 

Dear Swung and Flung,

I’m not sure what advice to give you. Swingers swing, Players play. It’s the name of the game. You knew that from the start and you both partook. Basically there are no guarantees in any relationship but Swingers do tempt fate – and each other. Sure, it can be fun and exciting, but I think in most cases this is how it ends. I guess you’ll have to have a long talk with yourself and your hubby about how you see your future. Best ‘o luck.

 

Dear Tippy,

My friend follows your column religiously and told me you once wrote about delicious foods to spice up your love life. Is there any way you can repost that for me? I’m in desperate need of some spicing, asap. Btw, my friend loves your column. Thanks,

Desperada

 

Dear Des,

Here you go…Enjoy. And tell your friend thank you for her loyalty.

Talk to Tippy Food & Sex

 

Got a question or a comment for Tippy? Email her at madlakepages@gmail.com. 100% Confidential.

Talk To Tippy

Posted on: July 2nd, 2014 by Madison Lake No Comments

Talk to Tippy for outrageously honest advice. Call it the second opinion we all wish we had. Unabashed and candid and insightful – trust Tippy for guidance with dating, relationship or sexual conundrums. Yes, you can Talk to Tippy!

Tippy - legs

 

Dear Tippy,

I’ve lost my sex drive. I’m only in my mid forties so what’s wrong with me? I’m freaking out. I’ve always had such a healthy sex life and suddenly it’s all come to a standstill. I just don’t feel it anymore. My girlfriend is getting fed up with me. I can tell. What should I do?

Limp

 

Dear Limp,

Sometimes this happens – to the best of us. The main thing is to relax and don’t focus on the ‘can’t’ or it will likely get worse. Take a break because for some reason your body is asking you to. Talk to your girlfriend about it. Honesty is the best policy. She’ll understand and stand by you, if she’s worthy. You should also try to experiment together sexually. Spice things up and see if that triggers your arousal. The main thing is not to panic or think too much about it. If it persists, go and see your doc or a sex therapist. There is help if you can’t find a solution on your own. Good luck.

 

Dear Tippy,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years. We are solid, or at least that’s what I thought. But lately he’s really been getting awkwardly close to my best friend. It happens she spends a lot of time with us because we all get along well, but I’m really uncomfortable with the level of flirting they are both doing. What should I do?

Third Wheel

 

Dear Wheely,

For starters, you are not the third wheel. You got there first, remember? You had better have a heart to heart with your girlfriend as well as your boyfriend – separately. Find out what’s going on and tell them how you feel. Get to the bottom of it. By the way, let your girlfriend know there are plenty of other fish in the sea so she should drop her line somewhere else.

 

Got a question or a comment for Tippy? Email her madlakepages@gmail.com. 100% Confidential.

We hear a lot of talk about how technology messes with our privacy – our social lives and our sex lives.

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Last week we discussed courtly love in the middle ages and saw how nobles had private affairs – famously played out for the ages.

But what of courtship in the 20th century? How did big inventions like the car affect us?… At the time, many said this ‘brothel on wheels’ was terrible for our much loved privacy and social segregation.

Even the very idea of privacy didn’t really appear until the 1800’s.  But by the 1890’s it had worked its way into American culture, when it was fashionable for courting men to call on the family home where its badge of honor – privacy – could be found.  Meanwhile, despite the illusion of privacy, bourgeois parents hovered over their children sitting in the front parlor even more, using their veto power to preserve the family honor.

Check out some of the styles of the Mauve decade.

All this honor-preserving led to some serious boredom. In the Gay Nineties, the new bohemians ventured out into the city, just like the poor folks, discovering and establishing their own private spaces on the other side of the tracks, so to speak. They felt more privacy among strangers from other classes than in their own parents’ homes – and the leisure class played on in the ‘mauve’ decade, literally inventing the idea of the date. This not only meant escaping all of that chaperoning but also getting away from the watchful female sphere and out into the male sphere. Bourgeois mothers lost control over the whole thing.

Then came the tipping point – the automobile.

In the Jazz Age, going out on dates in an expensive car turned courtship into dating – driven by cash. For hipsters in the 1920s, the car had actually become a ‘brothel on wheels’ as women became more and more commodified. And while Americans have certainly had a lot of backseat sex in the 20th century, the car can’t be targeted as purely negative technology. It is a private space for social change. The leisure class had already been dodging their parents for years, sneaking out at night and hooking up with working-class youth out on the prowl. Their cars just gave them a little privacy to do it.

Learn more on HistoryToday about sex and the automobile in the jazz age.