Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

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What Goes Around

Posted on: August 1st, 2017 by Madison Lake 2 Comments

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written and posted a blog. I’ve realized one has to stay 100% on track with social media or you can become lax. There are all kinds of reasons to fall off the social media grid; work, travel, relationships. Life in general. It’s definitely a commitment. But I’ve been busy…

Update #1: By now we’ve been exposed to enough ‘life experience’ to not be surprised when things hit us. I did see the red flags but chose to ignore them (again) because he was my friend. Ego is a heavy burden, and for some it seems, ego is difficult to identify in oneself. Talk the talk all you like (and he did), but you have to walk it (and I discovered he didn’t), and you can still be good at your game.

I have no time for people with enlarged egos. Nonetheless, I have to identify why I continue to attract them. Why do I continue to believe these smooth talking guys and why have I made choices along the way to let the good ones go? What is it I’m looking for?

However, happy & single, I roam the pages of my newest book in progress, see what character is going to lead me to the next adventure, and write on. My day job is sucking a lot from my energy reserves, but for now I must put one foot in front of the other – quite literally. I still find solace in revisiting poetry; editing, polishing, writing new work.

Perhaps this is my form of avoidance. I do go out socially with friends, but I should probably join a meet-up group or something, break away from the comfort zone. Maybe next week. Till then, it’s a warm summer day and I intend to enjoy it.

Best, ML  

 

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Let’s have a look at our very own favourite books — bodice rippers!

The origin of the bodice ripper is loosely based on the romance novels of the Austin era, but more erotic. Bodice Rippers became popular in the 1980’s when it became more acceptable for women to enjoy their own form of pornography.

Generally, this genre is predictable and formulaic with a handsome, strong and rich man sweeping some poor, long-suffering beauty off her feet. Seduction scenes should happen often enough to keep the pages turning, and all must end happily ever after.

The difference between a romance novel and a bodice ripper is the level of titillation. Romance novels tend to be tamer — more about love and good over evil, where bodice rippers, although with the same agenda, tend to be juicer. Covers of a true bodice ripper will show the male hero with his heroine, the damsel in distress, safely in his muscular arms. She is (of course) breathtakingly beautiful, with ample breasts that are spilling from the figure forming corset with laces coming undone. 

Despite the success of romance novels and bodice rippers, with commercial book sales in the millions, the literary world has yet to accept the work as legitimate. Such criticism has affected how the public reacts to this genre. To this day, readers of books like the bodice ripper, generally hide behind their iPads or magazine covers so as not to publicly reveal their true indulgence.

How To Spice Up Your Love Life

Posted on: September 27th, 2016 by Madison Lake No Comments

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Okay, I admit I’ve been single for a while, so how can I know anything about spicing up anyone’s love life? Hopefully we learn things in times of absence or loss. Being single is a really great way to get to know yourself and others, especially before getting involved with one person again. Here’s what I think I’ve learned about how to spice up your love life:

  1. Communicate
  2. Keep your female or male friends. Don’t give it all up for one person. You will be your most confident, happy self that way and that is sexy and appealing
  3. Listen to your partner. Avoid getting trapped into the day-to-day stuff.
  4. If you have kids, get a babysitter often enough to allow yourselves adult time. You’ll love it and your kids will love it too.
  5. Have a positive outlook. If you are happy your partner will be happy too.
  6. Enjoy sex. If this is a problem area, don’t give up. Talk through it. Work through it. Experiment and be open to changing things up. Besides the loving factor, sex should be fun and adventurous.
  7. Love. A lot

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Special is good. Here are some ideas for date nights or having quality times with your partner.

  1. Create a romantic evening at home – candlelit dinner, soft music so you can still talk (ramp it up if you want to dance!). Enjoy good food and wine that should all most definitely lead to what’s to come.
  2. Dinner and a movie out. Sometimes simple is best and coming home is better.
  3. Have a massage night for both of you. Set the stage with candles, massage oils, alluring music, heating pads, feathers, ice…
  4. Leave messages around the house. Depending on your situation, these messages can be as romantic or seductive as you want.
  5. Buy or make your partner something just for them once in a while. Surprises are a wonderful thing.
  6. Love. A lot.

That’s all for this week, but this is definitely a conversation to continue. We welcome your comments and additions – your spicy pointers to add to this list. Feedback and new ideas are always a good thing.

ML

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So what’s the magic formula for finding a mate? Why is it that some people never seem to be alone? They may break-up, separate, divorce, but they are in a new relationship within a short period of time. Others can’t seem to find ‘the right one’. What is it that makes that connection between some and not others?

I do believe in fate. I believe that we meet people for a reason. That reason may be clear as day or it may manifest later for us to realize why. I believe it’s timing – being at the right place at the right time – and being open to receiving.

Some people may think that those who go from one relationship to another without having any ‘alone time’ are just afraid of being alone. A different perspective is that they are open, they want, love, companionship, a relationship. But then, what about people who have been alone for a while, who are lonely and don’t necessarily want to be alone? Does that mean they are not open? Maybe.

On a different note, there is a theory about what brings people together, what makes people connect. In laymen’s terms it is about how each of us puts out a different scent, an odour. Most female and male animals operate through scent. Have you ever wondered why some people attract you in a crowd and others do not? Walk into a busy Starbucks. Don’t think too much about it but be aware of who your immediate attraction is for. It’s interesting. And apparently it happens instantaneously. Read here.    

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About twenty years ago I was waiting in my car at a red light. A young man crossed the street and looked directly at me through the windshield. Both of us were riveted to each other’s gaze and could not stop staring. The light changed and I had to drive on but that image and memory has stuck with me all these years. Who was he and why was our connection so strong, even through a car window? It was powerful and sometimes I wonder if I will run into him again sometime. One never knows why our paths (literally) crossed and why the memory has stayed with me.

So, here we have two (maybe three) different theories on how people meet or connect. I don’t know about you but I find this kind of stuff fascinating. What are your thoughts? We’d love to have a conversation about this so please share by commenting to this blog.

Till next time…keep connecting.

ML

Excerpt on Fear & Love

Posted on: July 28th, 2015 by Madison Lake No Comments

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My good friend, LaMont Wright, aka Graffiti Bleu, posted this great podcast the other day that gave me pause. Many good points were made, many good questions asked from both sides of the Fear vs Love conversation, all spoken in poignant lyrical poetry and song.

I agree, fear and love are the same thing – they come from the same place. It’s what we do with them in that place that makes all the difference. fear of love /  fear and love / fear without love / fear / love…

We all have our stories. Our stories create us to be who we are and it is up to us to not change, but rewrite our stories so we can feel love without fear, so we can love fearlessly. Important reminders in a society entrapped in judgement, fear mongering, abuse of power and rights, and so on.

I especially love the analogy of mother and child. Listen up:

Fear & Love Cypher

 

 

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