I’ve been hanging out with some very good friends of mine who have been married for forty years. That’s astounding. My friends, who are close to my age! It used to be my parents and their friends who impressed me at the length and strength of their love and now my generation is creeping into that position of accomplishment. Or is it?
It certainly is, in its own right, an accomplishment, but even my friends talk openly about how they wonder, even now, whether two people are meant to be together as one couple exclusively for that long. It makes for good discussion anyway.
I know (and have known) swingers, voyeurs, and couples/singles into kink. I know men who divorced for a much younger woman, I know men in their sixties having a second or third family, I know confirmed bachelors, single and bitter men and women, and dynamic, happily single women (not so many happily single men, sadly). I know a dear couple about to embark on marriage, and if there are any two people in the world who, with one glance you know they are meant to be together, they are it. I wish them every happiness, but I don’t have to because they already have it.
I admire those couples who make it ‘work’, who have that staying power in relationship. Love changes over time. Needs and perceptions shift. It would be important to remain fluid, honest and communicative to stay connected.
Love comes in all forms and packages and we may not find it the first (or second) time around.
That does not mean my friends do not love each other. They do. After being together forty years, through pretty much everything, the love may have changed, but I imagine their bond is deep indeed.
Some may search and explore when they’re young, then settle down for the duration. Some may keep looking for greener grass their entire lives. Whether young or older, some may be happy forever with the one they found.
The crux of it all is LOVE.