Let’s ease into the week with a little Soul Train. Dipping back…
Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken. - Isabel Allende
I can’t believe it but the History of Sex has never done a post on Cleopatra…! One of the most famous women in history AND she was famous for using her Roman lovers as means to her ends. I need to remedy this immediately.
Cleopatra was born in the the Ptolemy family in the 1st century BCE. The family tradition was to marry brother to sister in order to consolidate power and keep their Greek heritage pure so Cleo was the product of a few centuries of extreme inbreeding. Lucky for her, she managed to come out fairly good looking and very intelligent.
When her father died, Cleopatra was married to her much younger brother and forced to share power with him. This wasn’t her idea of a good time and she gradually pushed him out of the picture. Eventually, he got sick of this and there was a brief civil war. The good news was that Cleopatra won. The bad news was that in order to win, Cleopatra had to bring in Rome, eventually leading to Egypt’s loss of independence.
History and legend are blended so closely with Cleopatra, it’s almost impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. Legend has it that in order to get the support of Julius Caesar, she had herself smuggled into his rooms by hiding in a rolled up carpet. Nine months later, she gave birth to Caesar’s son and established herself as his top mistress. He even invited Cleopatra to Rome and introduced her around the city. Too bad it was during the visit that Caesar was assassinated by a group of senators.
Next week, we’ll get to the real love story of Cleopatra’s life…
Talk to Tippy for outrageously honest advice. Call it the second opinion we all wish we had. Unabashed and candid and insightful – trust Tippy for guidance with dating, relationship or sexual conundrums. Yes, you can Talk to Tippy!
Cats and Kittens,
Last week we started to talk about food and sex and how deliciously well they go together. In continuation of that theme, which could be how we roll into Christmas, here’s todays offering.
Dear Tippy,
My boyfriend is a chef and therefore, loves food. And to make a long story short, I’ve never had such amazing sex in my life. We’re in our late forties so to have this kind of a revelation now is remarkable. I can almost get myself worked up into such a frenzy just thinking about what we did or what I want to do. It’s never been like this for me. Sometimes I have to pull him away from what he’s doing or planning or eating!! to get him to engage with me. So, I thought maybe I should combine the two ideas. Do you have any thoughts or ideas on how to successfully meld the two?
Signed,
Sauteed Sara
Dear Gently Braised,
What a wonderful idea. I think you’re onto something. Do your research. Does your bf prefer sweets or savory and at what times of the day? Does he worry about calories or what foods work with his blood type (yes, this is a big consideration as it affects his digestive system) and is he a snacker or a full on big plate guy? After you get this intel, start filling the fridge with delectable morsels that are easily transferrable to the bedroom or better yet – the kitchen floor. I remember having difficulty explaining a series of small bruises along my spine where the backbone touched the wide plank flooring in the kitchen, again and again; to my very straight, very chinese acupuncturist. Another story, another time.
Think practically as well so that you’re not worried about chocolate frosting being massaged into your broad weave, ivory colored linen duvet cover. Imagine where you’d like to feel food on you. Start thinking of things in terms of texture, temperature, weight and resilience in any scenario.
Let’s leave this topic percolating and see what busyness we can get up to in our planning then talk about it next week? Oh what fun!
Love,
Tippy
Got a question or a comment for Tippy? Email her at TalktoTippy@gmail.com
I’m visiting a friend in LA. I love LA. It’s vibrant, a great place to people watch, and on average it’s 78 degrees F.
My friend, who graciously put me up (or shall I say put up with me) for about five days, and I went out to a new bar/restaurant my first night in the city. It was a bright open space and wasn’t overly busy. We grabbed a couple seats at the bar and before long she was chatting away with the fellow on her right. The night continued with a steady stream of men who were friendly and funny. Many biz cards were exchanged, cheeks kisses (yes, just cheeks) and promises made to meet again.
LA is definitely a city where things happen. Yippee.
#fun #lalaland
More soon…ML
Anybody feeling like life is a little blurred today, or is it just me?
Monday, Monday…apparently they are a challenge for ML #forgetful #nomusic
The issue of same sex again #bestfriends #socialbehavior
Friends vs lovers and dark, sweet chocolate #tippy #advice
Bad sex and beheaded – conclusion (literally) #MariaAntoinette #historylesson
#BlackFriday #turkey #exercise – oh happy day.
Are all you Americans nice and full of turkey, stuffing, and wine? Fantastic! Pour yourself a glass of port and read the conclusion of our Marie Antoinette history…
When last we saw her, Marie Antoinette was suffering from extremely bad martial sex. Too bad she couldn’t write to Tippy for advice! Her family was very nosy and placed the blame on her, telling her it was her duty to get her husband excited about doing it with her. All of this was making her very stressed and since sex was an outlet, the queen was eating a lot of pastries.
Add to all this the fact that the general public didn’t much care for their queen. She was from Austria, the traditional frenemy of France, and they were in a period of hostility. They liked to call her L’Autrichienne, a lovely portmanteau of Austrian and bitch. She was accused of all sorts of sexual deviancy. According to the newspapers, she was lovers with half a dozen women, twice as many men, and she was leading the king to favor Austria above other countries.
In the midst of all this came Count Axel von Fersen, a dashing Swedish attaché. He was handsome, charming, and had a reputation for being amazing in the sack. Pretty much the moment he got to Versailles, he was a favorite of the queen. The rumors flew and they weren’t helped by the school girl behavior of Marie Antoinette. The full extent of their relationship is unknown, meaning we don’t know if they went all the way. The queen was rarely left alone but history has shown that the two exchanged love letters via pseudonyms when von Fersen had to travel. His feelings for her were strong enough that he risked his life when he tried to help the royal family flee when the situation in France became dangerous.
We all know how poor Marie Antoinette’s life ended. Bad sex, pressure for kids, beheaded…at least she had great clothes!
Talk to Tippy for outrageously honest advice. Call it the second opinion we all wish we had. Unabashed and candid and insightful – trust Tippy for guidance with dating, relationship or sexual conundrums. Yes, you can Talk to Tippy!
Dear Cats and Kittens,
It’s almost that lazy hazy crazy holiday time of year again and it brings me to thoughts of sex. How bizarre, I know.
I just drizzled warm dark sweet chocolate all over my companions willing package and had my way with it, and him. How do you meld food and sex? Or do you? It can be a most successful diversion from the same old cat and mouse. Do tell. And then, we’ll discuss.
Love,
Tippy
Dear Tippy,
I’m a in my fifties. I’m a successful divorcee in the music business. I just started seeing a fellow who has been a friend of mine for some time and strange things are starting to develop in this new relationship. He claims to be very sexual and regularly speaks about his previous conquests and his successes in bed which I find uncomfortable for sure, but what’s unusual is that he can’t seem to maintain an erection and I feel like I am being blamed. I am so conflicted about this, feel like I’m losing perspective and could use another opinion. Yours, particularly.
Thanks.
Signed,
No Music Left
Dear Musical Note,
There’s a lot going on there. First of all, let’s assume that you and he were good friends and because you kept finding yourselves in the same circles, you jumped into the next most most likely phasee – right smack into a romantic relationship. This is not uncommon. Not for anyone of any age group. We commonly mistrust the comfort and safety of a friendship and the foundation for romance. But alas – it is usually not the case. This is another topic that should have been covered in middle school. Right beside the non elective courses on personal finance management and human kindness 101.
But whatever, I digress.
And let’s assume that you are a normal-ish, well adjusted, attractive, interesting and informed gal.
Drop him. But only as a lover. Explain very very clearly that you were such good friends and you cherished that relationship but having him as a lover has you missing the friend you once had. He will counter saying you “can have it all”, but clearly you can’t. Especially if he can’t keep his tool engaged during your private, loving time, and instead feels justified taking that “special time” recounting tales of past conquests. Added to that, no man, no person, no one; should use such blatant passive aggressive tactics which you and I both know will begin to wear down your self confidence and prowess. Hopefully you will make the decision to leave before you are a trembling mass of human protoplasm on the cold sidewalk of life.
Rise above the phlebian masses, state your case, stick to your guns and move forward, head held high. This is not about you and him. This is about you. Do it.
Love,
Tippy
Got a question or a comment for Tippy? Email her at TalktoTippy@gmail.com
It amazes me how people still stare or feel uncomfortable when around same sex couples. I was recently out with my two best friends who temporarily split up after years of marriage but are now happily together again – remember that blog post?
It happens that they are both men. They don’t dress any more flamboyantly than you or me, a scarf here or floral shirt there. No biggie. They are not openly affectionate in public, although it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know they are madly deeply in love. Yet, whenever we go out together people in the room seem to single them out and stare. On occasion I’ve seen people (mostly other men) move away from them.
Maybe it’s me being overly sensitive. Maybe they’re really reacting to the fact that they recognize love and are warmed or moved or even a bit jealous. Maybe it’s me who is creating a homophobic scenario when there is none. Maybe I need to just relax and enjoy the moment and forget worrying about what is going on around me. If I love my two best friends, isn’t that all that matters?
ML
Featured
